What to expect Copy
Well this is a crazy time in your life, so many emotions, experiences and one major feeling of “I have got no idea what I am doing”.
We spend so much time preparing for the birth that often forget that we must look after a baby at the end of it, and that baby doesn’t come with a manual.
It is an emotional rollercoaster.
The most all-consuming love for this little being along with a fear you are going to break them, happiness at every noise or snuffle and an overwhelming feeling of protection then guilt and fear again as you feel you have no idea what you are doing and are bound to get it wrong.
If you are feeling any of this you really are not alone as you can see, we all go through this and it carries on as they grow.
The biggest myself and Sarah have found is guilt. Guilt for not feeding them the right food, guilt for not breast feeding, guilt for leaving them to go to work, guilt for letting them cry so you can go to the toilet before feeding them and so on.
When you get home from the hospital is generally when it all hits you, you are in your own environment but still in maternity clothes and just feeling a bit rubbish. That’s when you realise it is all a bit scary, but don’t worry this is what friends and family are for, talk about it, you will likely get a bit of the baby blues which is when you get teary for watching an ad about toothpaste or cereal (no logical reason) or put your slippers on the wrong feet or shower gel on your toothbrush, or like me the TV remote in the fridge, this is very normal so don’t worry.
If you have stronger symptoms of unhappiness then please seek help and look into postnatal depression, it is real, and you need to be aware of it, there are amazing support groups out there for this.
At about day three your milk comes in and babies are known to cry quite a bit but again if you are aware then you can help both of you, I found soothing by singing and pacing helped for both of us, the babies just must be able to sense the milk.
The witching hour, sometimes babies will just cry, and it is horrible, it doesn’t seem to matter what you do they just cry, you go through the list, changed, fed, tired, teeth, colic, it can be really tough sometimes but it doesn’t last forever, stay strong, you’ve got this!
You will be tired in these early weeks and you will be emotional, don’t beat yourself up if you don’t want to exercise straight away, don’t worry if you are happy in your trackies for the moment and unwashed hair, there will be a time again when you have time to shower and put on make-up without having someone needing you immediately but now is not the time, be kind to you.
There are so many emotions at this time and it is often brought on by other mummies with their innocent but sometimes crushing comments
“Oh, are they not sleeping through the night, mine has been for months?”
No, they haven’t and that makes me feel bad, should they be? am I doing something wrong?
“I make all the meals for my baby from scratch, would never touch bought baby food”.
I am so tired and haven’t got the time to make food from scratch so always buy the pouches, am I doing them harm? Should I be making everything from scratch? Am I a bad mum?
Innocent comments but can make you doubt yourself when really you are doing a fantastic job just working your way through it, smile and be proud of yourself and your baby, you must do what works for you both and they are more than happy with what you are doing.
Ladies, I say this from experience, please remember this when talking to friends with babies how tired and emotional we all are and think before you speak and hopefully we can all just be proud of what we are all doing in our different ways. Support each other.
Having a baby can also be a lonely time so when you see a mum on her own at a baby group, try chatting to her or inviting her to sit with you and your friends, I can bet she will be most grateful, Let’s unite mummies and take care of each other from the start xx